I settled fight today, Lagos will stress you🤦🏽‍♀️

My sister and I were coming back from my sister’s house around 9:00pm. The gate that leads to our street was closed so we had to go pass the street before ours. I saw a lady arguing with two men and one of them was threatening to beat her up. I decided to intervene, meanwhile both the girl I want to fight for and the two men she’s fighting are all bigger than me. It was really late and the place was a bit quiet, so I didn’t feel comfortable with the lady and her friend staying there longer with the guys. 

I sha acted small film until it was safe to leave the girls. There’s a part of me that is scared that the guys will try to find my address sef. It almost got out of hands, but thankfully the fight was contained. My sister and I eventually left when the lady’s aunt arrived.

I don’t know why I feel some type of way about what I did. I feel embarrassed because to settle fight in this Lagos, you sef you have to exhibit small craze; but I did the right thing and I should be proud of myself. Right?

Are you still a good person?

On my birthday, someone wished me a happy birthday on my secondary school WhatsApp group and other people started sending me birthday wishes as well. One of my former class mates messaged me directly and asked if I still always ask questions like I used to. That put me in a reflective mood. So I am remembered for “asking questions”? Toh.

Where I’m from, you’re considered rude to question things, systems, processes, people older than you, anything really. Around here, people who ask questions are mostly considered to be troublesome and rude, but what if they just want more understanding? 

I’m Yoruba, so that makes it even worse. Yoruba is the ethnic group in my country known for being very “respectful”. In my culture, you bend down or kneel down as a female, and prostrate as a male, when greeting your elders. Don’t forget to add “Sir” or “Ma” too. “Respect” (mostly eye service) is so important in Nigeria and more so in the Yoruba culture. 

In the Yoruba culture, you are supposed to use “e” when referring to someone older than you. For instance, my older sister is one year and nine months older than I am, but I refer to her as “Sister Ayo” because it would be “disrespectful” to call her by her name, Ayo. Same goes for my younger siblings. A lot of families don’t do this anymore, but it was the norm some decades ago. 

Interestingly, the person who enforced this particular “Sister” culture amongst my sisters and I is my mom’s friend. Another thing to note; people in my country, especially the older generation, don’t respect boundaries. An Uncle, Aunt or friend can dabble into your family affairs and make rules and it’s considered as being caring. Like they say, “it takes a village to raise children”. One of the things I grew up angry with my mother about is how she allowed interference in our family from so called friends. 

Another interesting thing is that my mom’s friend’s  children don’t call themselves “Sister/Brother”, so you can imagine my confusion when she was trying to “instill respect” in my sisters and by making us call each other “Sister”. I think I asked my mum “why” as usual and her friend replied me that she must not hear me calling my sister by name or something like that. As at that time though, I was too young to stand up her to a certain extent, especially because my mom agreed to it. 

Apparently, the friend had taught her children to do same but somehow they didn’t continue with it. My own mother allowed her friend make a rule in our family that she couldn’t sustain in her own family and it stuck with us. That’s a typical example of how people interfere with family and friends businesses unapologetically in my culture. 

Back to the question, do I still ask questions? Hmmmm, asking questions got me in a lot of trouble in the past, so I toned it down a bit. I noticed I was usually a part of few, sometimes the only one asking questions, so I began to question myself. I know I’m still kind of different and unconventional in my thinking; but not only did I stop asking questions, I forgot that I used to ask a lot of questions until my secondary school class mate asked me. 

Secondary school in my country is what’s referred to as high school in some countries. I imagine that my classmates then must have been irritated by my question asking behavior, for my class captain to remember😁. He said/asked it in an admirable way though, so that’s some comfort.

POV: I wasn’t the best student in class, wasn’t even top 5 so why was I even asking questions forguhsake🙄.

Oh, he also said “I hope you are still a good person”. That really touched my heart. What did I do for someone I spent 3 years in the same class in secondary school with to ask if I’m still a good person. 

Then there’s his wife’s story about how she used my name to lie to meet up with him in those days😂😭. They’re so cute. They were both my classmates and friends in secondary school and they both got married. I remember I used to have a crush on the guy. They absolutely made my day.

I’ll have to come back and answer to whether or not I’m still a good person, I don’t have the answer right now. I have some self reflection and evaluation to do, although I’d say right now that I’m probably not as much of a “good person” as I was back then. Regardless, I sincerely hope that no matter how many questions I ask, or how weird or annoying people initially perceive me to be, I hope that they always remember me to be a good and kind person. 

Yellow

Sometime ago, I painted a portion of our apartment (I share an apartment with my sister) yellow. There’s this short corridor that joins my room to hers that we didn’t paint when we painted our rooms white. 

I was thinking of starting a YouTube channel and was thinking of video ideas and I thought maybe I should try diy painting - paint the corridor myself and record it. Seemed like a nice plan but I eventually regretted it.

Anyway, when I was thinking of what colour to paint it, something told me yellow would be a good idea. No it wasn’t something, it was me. I thought yellow would be a good idea. I needed some colour, I mean white is bright but I wanted another colour except for white.

I did ask my friend her thoughts about painting my corridor yellow, then she ran it by her husband and he said it’s schools that paint their walls yellow. I went ahead to paint the corridor yellow anyway, and truly, the spot looked similar to a kindergarten when I finished painting.

It came out surprisingly “not looking bad” though. After spending the whole day painting and repainting until the yellow looked good enough (I had to do about 7 or more coats because I added too much water to the yellow paint), I decided to try some “designs” on the yellow paint. How did that turn out? Your guess is as good as mine.

We had some white paint left from when we painted our rooms. I started dipping my hands in the white paint and placing my palms on the yellow paint. *Huge sigh* I didn’t stop there, I brought out an old jewelry box that also contained old SIM cards and stuff and I placed some of the old earrings and one sim card on the wet paint on the wall. 

No, I can’t explain. My only defense is that I was trying to be “creative”, and maybe eccentric. You know how eccentric can go completely off. Yeah it went off. The wall literally looked like a bad idea. I crowned my entire day of diy yellow painting with an awful looking design. 

I’ve seen videos where people say they painted their house and it was fun. Some even say it was relaxing or therapeutic. To share my own conclusions on diy painting because - it was not fun! Especially if you live in Lagos Nigeria, DIY painting isn’t that fun, therapeutic or relaxing, according to Olayemi’s findings. Please pay a painter to paint your house. 

I eventually had to reach out to a painter too. The man asked about the war going on on the wall, and I said it was a project 😌. I don’t if he believed me though. I ended up spending more too. So diy painting isn’t worth the stress and expenses if you ask me, and its definitely not for me. 

Chloe, what a pleasant surprise!

I just saw Koko of big brother’s interview on Taymesan’s YouTube channel, Tea with tay. She caught me by surprise. It’s the only interview I replayed immediately after watching it. She’s popularly known as a “waranwaran” (all over the place and lousy) girl from the big brother show. She even got disqualified so I didn’t except her to have such depth and substance, to be honest.

Interesting how you can perceive someone to be a certain type of person and then you see a different side to them that’s completely opposite what you thought they were; being judgmental is ignorance at its highest form man! Learnt a lot from her today. One profound thing I noticed is how Taymesan was basically calling himself out for being one of those who used to look down on her back when he knew her, and she didn’t seem to take it to heart at all. 

Look at me now, she said. She also referred to him as her friend, what a sweet soul. I’m not sure I would regard someone who used to look down on me as a friend after “making it”, so I thought that was so forgiving and kind of her. He said he laughed the day they were watching big brother and she said she would be on the big brother show one day. To him and their neighbors, she was a joke and they didn’t see how the local girl she was then could be the things she said she would be.

It’s also her audacity for me; “I just don’t take No for an answer, if I want something, I get it”. Wow, I’m pleasantly surprised. She inspired me to believe I’m going to become the superstar I was born to be, I will be wealthy and happy and have everything my heart wishes for.

You are enough! And remember to not always judge a book by its cover. 

Write

Write, they said. So I write. I write for all humans. I write for those who love being here, and for those who would rather not be. I write for those who are feel accomplished and those consumed with failures. I write for those who feel safe, and for the defenseless. I write for those who have hope and those whose hope is lost. I write for the joyful and the depressed, tired and empty. I write for those who walk the surface of the earth and even the dead. I write for those consumed with fear, living in that wild box and going round in it’s circles.

I write for the abused and the traumatized. I write for those whose souls have been exchanged, for that one who could have been another person, not this. I write for don't who don't remember themselves, those who search and those who do not bother. I write for those the heartbroken and the lucky ones who know peace. 

I write for those who feel everything and those who feel nothing. I write for the conscientious and those have no conscience. I write for those who have overcome, and to all of us still becoming, may we experience happy endings.

I write for the free, the oppressed and the defeated. I write for those who have overcome grief, and for those of us who may never get over it. Perhaps as I write, we all will feel the burden getting lighter and the pain getting lesser. I write for the ones who have healed, those who are healing and those who are hurting.

I write for the insecure, and for those who do not feel seen. I write for the poor, the ashamed, the sick, the forgotten. I write for the privileged and those who have never enjoyed it, none of us asked for the life we got (or maybe we did in another world). I write for the orphans, the motherless, the fatherless. I write for the widow and the widowers. 

I write for those who are truly happy, who life has been kind to. I write for the unhappy, those who the earth has been unkind to and for those who toil the earth. I write for those who hope, those who believe, and those who eagerly seek and await greatness.

I write for those who dream, and the ones who have forgotten. I write for those who have lost their vision and those who never had any. I write for those who have questions, who seek to understand the very essence of man and the entire existence. I write for those who know, and those who may never understand the concept of mankind. I write for those who believe in God and for those who don't. I write for those who are uncertain, torn in between what seems like two truths.

I write for those who fit in, and for those who do not conform; for those who choose to be different, because what would the world be like anyway if we were all the same? I write for spirits that wander, the deep minds and the shallow ones. I write for those who have clarity but have no means.

My only wish as I write is that each one will eventually find peace; that somehow the universe turns over and over until it brings each man his own joy, and grant him enough time to enjoy it. I hope that the universe aligns to purge itself of pain, wickedness, grief and sorrow. 

My soul also wishes for fairness, that those who feed the world with wickedness get back wickedness in return; and those who feed the world with kindness and love, get back plenty of it with joy in return.

Akah and his fellow YouTubers

I’ve always had HEAVY menstrual flow, stain stain everywhere. Sometimes I’d think I’ve prepared well till I get to where I’m going o, I will still stain before getting there. The anxiety, plus being unable to sit, sleep or eat comfortably for five to seven days every month. I always envied those who have very light flow. Although, thank God I don’t have serious cramps. I pity women who do honestly. 

For sometime now I’ve been thinking of trying tampons if those would be better than pads, but I just keep buying pads instead of trying tampons. I’ve never used them so it will be quite some adjustment if I start, I really should try them sha, if only for one day just to see how it works. Menstruation is so freaking uncomfortable, and you can’t wish it away. “Ta ba nja bi ka ku ko” (if we’re fighting, it doesn’t mean I wish you dead please).

Anyway, that’s how I say lemme watch YouTube videos yesterday and I was just seeing reactions to Akah and Claire’s breastfeeding video. I say Toh, Akah dun enter. Even one YouTuber that likes saying “I’m not a feminist” was vexing on top the matter. She even said men shouldn’t have a say on what a woman does with her body. It was at that point that I knew that Akah f***ed up.

In this Madam’s case, she said she likes breastfeeding her children exclusively, but she doesn’t store breast milk because it stresses her out, and stress can stop the flow of the breast milk. She said she can’t imagine her husband insisting on storage, when she prefers to breastfeed the child directly. I think that was one of the points Claire raised, that she prefers the child take the breast milk directly for now until she has enough to start storing. She and her friend (both YouTubers) did the video together. In the friend’s case, she has had two surgeries on her right breast. She can only breastfeed with her left breast so she doesn’t breastfeed/store as much as some other women do. Sha, their point was that some women prefer to breastfeed directly, some prefer to store, while some don’t even want to breastfeed, and everyone’s preferences are valid.

Me sha, I was like sis please maintain one lane😏. Don’t be confusing us when small wind hit you. Sebi you think feminists make too much noise, why are you now angry because someone is trying to force his opinions on breastfeeding on his wife. A lot of men and even women (e.g yourself) continue to downplay women’s realities and tag those who speak up to be “witches”. Oh you didn’t know it’s national cake before? Now e dun touch you we no go hear word. Please face your anger in private and don’t stress us😏. Remember that once you start complaining, you sef dun turn feminist, and we don’t want that right?

Mothers were sha “paraing” for Akah sha. According to them, there’s a lot to consider in this breastfeeding matter. They said even the most supportive men won’t fully understand, because “na person wey wear shoe know where the shoe dey pinch am”.

Then there’s that Doctor that said it should be a deal breaker for men if a woman is not willing to breastfeed exclusively. They touched on his matter small too. Me that I’ve not born sef, I know that “ori boda yen o pe” (his head is not correct). He actually said women shouldn’t be angry about what he said, that sebi there was a time that women were saying it’s a deal breaker for them if a man leaves soap on the wall after having his bath. Uncle se e wa okay, is everything alright? What concern soap and breastfeeding forguhsake?

Even if there are women that would actually break up with someone for the singular reason of not rinsing soap off the wall, they’re maybe 0.00000001%. Now let’s even assume that some women actually break up with men solely because he leaves soap on the bathroom wall, is that the same as breastfeeding matter? What health issues are associated with rinsing soap off a wall when you finish bathing? What’s the effort required in doing that compared to breastfeeding? Orisirisi Doctors on Twitter. Twitter ehn…hmmmnnn, it has made us kuku see how we think in this country.

When I was working in a bank (and even my other 9-5 jobs), I used to pity new moms when they resume maternity leave. To be honest, three months is too short. And that’s if promotion or some serious appraisal or higher workload doesn’t happen during their maternity leave, that they have to be coming to work during the maternity leave. I know of someone who didn’t do maternity leave because she wanted to get confirmed as a full staff (not in the bank I worked though, just someone I know). She was lucky to get the promotion, some may not even get the promotion after sacrificing most of their maternity leave. 

Then someone is somewhere insisting on one year supply of breast milk inside freezer. Bros, it is that your coconut head that will supply the milk o. And the funny thing is, it seems it was Akah that sent the post and wrote the caption oh. He thought he had done something there and was probably expecting to be crowned “best in husbandry”. As it turns out, the odds were in favour of Claire.

When you observe most new moms, you’ll see how stressed they are, especially having to combine work with making sure their babies are fine. I’m sure some of them must have left some breast milk for their babies, but what if it’s not enough between morning and night? Should the child starve because the mother isn’t back from work? Or should the mother resign? Is resigning a sensible decision for the family financially. What percentage of young (Nigerian) husbands can foot 100% of the family’s bills without any form of financial assistance from the wife? And for the men who foot 100% of the bills, do they also have enough money stored up for unforeseen circumstances? If they do, do the wives have access to the funds? See, let’s not start what we can’t finish o.

So a woman who does not want to breastfeed exclusively for six months is irresponsible? And they’ll still not allow the woman choose if she wants to breastfeed directly or store up. Everyone is entitled to an opinion except the person pumping out the milk. Okay o. You will see that one’s profile now, looking nice with nice bio and RTs of Christianity upandan, you will say you’ve seen better person. Just lookat that kind of thinking. Always having the most advice on issues you will never experience. Mscheew 🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

I think “Olorun atijo” (olden days god) that used to pass immediate judgement needs to start visiting some men. Once you give stupid advice on menstruation, you start menstruating. You talk too much on breastfeeding, you grow breast straight. So instead of using mouth to advise, show women how to do it bro. Show us the way sir. It’s better that way. Abi what do you think? 

Orisirisi (Ten is happening)

A former colleague gave me gist that one of our former ogas impregnated one of our former colleagues so his own oga sacked him; as in dismissal, no benefits. 

First of all, please in a multinational organization that has structure, if he was to be punished, was he not supposed to face a disciplinary committee or something and if they want to let him go, should he not be entitled to the normal benefits like gratuity and all. It’s not like he raped the girl, most of us knew they were dating then, even though he get wife and 3 shudren. But my own is why will oga patapata just sack him because the girl told him he impregnated her. 

I know the oga was quite friendly with her, just as he was with some of us, but I don’t think he was dating her or anything like that, so why sack her impregnator? You never can tell sha, but I’ll think he'll have more sense and class actually, than that. But some men no get sense sha, dem fit be CEO and be dating the cleaner in the office. Plus the girl is a fine girl, so, nothing do them. To the best of my knowledge, he wasn’t sleeping with her. Rumor has it he had been looking for an excuse to sack the impregnator since, because that one knows work more than him. See ehn, a lot of multinational companies in Nigeria are being run like “civil service”. 

Back story - impregnator was an Area Manager (AM), the girl he impregnated is a contract staff, the oga that sacked impregnator is the Commercial Manager. The impregnator joined the company as a contract staff before he was promoted to become an Area Manager. Their set were lucky because a lot of them were promoted to become “full staff”. After their set all the company does is use one crooked outsourcing company like that to bring in graduates and tell stories about how you can grow in the organization but year after year, it’s slavery. 

I heard they increased their salary after I left sha, I know it will still be nonsense they added. See if I do the salary breakdown of a sales rep on contract for you, you will know that there’s problem in this country because it’s a popular multinational and everyone believes their employees are well paid, but what they don’t know is that they have a set of people they slave drive through an outsourcing company  belongs to one man that is “allegedly” (lol) one former top oga’s friend. 

Anyway, the impregnator was a contract staff so he understands the nitty gritty of the job. The Commercial Manager (CM), na only oyingbo and wickedness that one sabi. He was actually demoted to the CM position from a top management role. Our former CM (the one before him) that used to bend down to greet the new CM, which is a sign of respect in Nigeria.

So the gist was that he was part of those set of people that gave the Oyinbos one field marketing idea they call General Trade. You know those Nigerians that advice oyinbo to outsource sales and employ plenty graduates and be paying them #40,000 basic salary and #30,000 commission that’s never complete, ehehn, na dem. They will negotiate their owns salary in millions, based the “ground breaking” idea they have designed for the company, and tell the Oyinbos that Nigerians need iron fist to deliver at their jobs o. And anyone who complains will be replaced immediately, as we all know, there’s a sea of graduates out there looking for jobs so no time. 

Anyway sha, karma started catching up with him. When all you have to offer a company is wicked ideas to enslave your own country people, I guess one day they’ll realize you’re really not that smart. From what we heard they retrenched some other ogas in his set and paid them a lot of money and a honorably but him he told them he would rather be demoted. Apparently he didn’t want to go and do business and probably already figured out he may not get another management job that easily, so he decided he’ll rather rust in the company. That’s how he became our own Commercial Manager. He was the opposite of the woman that left, very mean. 

I feel a bit of guilt sha because to be honest I was one of the few people he wasn’t extremely mean to. At least he smiled at some of us, but I can’t lie, before God and man, the man is mean. Any small thing, he would threaten to sack people. And still we didn’t still sell as much as when the nice woman was commercial manager🤷‍♀️. 

So back to the impregnator and impregnated. Myself and the impregnated joined at the same time, the girl has never had sense for one day so I’m not even too surprised. I was closer to another girl who was also close to her but I had to shift for both of them. In her mind, maybe she thought she was a big girl for dating oga. Eni ti ori e ti knock. See if you date oga and you know that promotion is sure for you, I won’t even judge you, that’s your own path to achieving what you want in the company; but dating a married oga when you know the company was not even considering staffing you. And the guy is the type of person that will sit with his friends/colleagues and discuss you. Shior

We even heard gist one time that the girl introduced him to her friend too. Maybe it’s promotion they were looking for sha o, or he’s that good and she wanted to share as a good friend, I’m not very sure what their problem was. Ti ko ba ki nse pe ori gbogbo won ti knock (if not that the batteries in their heads have started leaking). This company is already very comfortable with the slavery arrangement bringing in sales for them so they stopped doing tests for promotion a long time ago (for a specific set of outsourced staff), and this oga stingy pass anything, and even razz (me too I’m razz o, before you think I’m trying to be condescending). 

The impregnator is the stupidest in this situation. You know your oga is already setting traps for you, it’s that time you know you will impregnate someone. You that your salary is close to  One Million Naira, if I have my facts right abi how do they say it (I know it’s between 600k and 1M sha), are you supposed to be impregnating a girl that is friendly with your oga that is trying to sack you? Sebi now his oga and his village people have won. God has answered someone that has been praying for his role be that. It’s his wife and kids I pity sha. I wonder the reason he’ll give his wife for losing his job, obviously na to lie because if not, it’s double wahala for him. Except God wants to catch him and she finds out somehow. Even if he gets another job now, he may not get another job that will pay that much. He has allowed the girl to pour sand sand inside his garri. How much is the girl earning, less than 70k. Idiot. Yoruba demon, Yoruba demon, now he’s jobless.

Wo, May God help him in his future endeavors sha. My own sef dun dey too much. Lori oro oloro. 

My mother would say “temi ni mon bayi yi” (I’m here dealing with my own life abeg). Everybody will be alright las las

The Nieces 🥰

Just me remembering my nieces this night and their funny characters.

The first one; two minutes into doing an assignment, next thing she says is “an almost done” (i’m almost done). I’m like, almost done how, you just started! She’s  such a clown; although her teachers say she’s very quiet in school, and she keeps to herself unless she’s comfortable with you. That could be due to the fact that she changed schools, but then she was quiet at her former school too.

When she’s going to school, we usually encourage her to play with her classmates and speak up when her teacher asks her questions. Then when she comes back we ask her for the name of her friends. Now I think she has one or two or even more friends, she’s loosening up a bit outside her family and home. Her mom said she came to her and said I miss “Aunty *****”, and she said okay do you want to call her? She replied “No, maybe tomorrow, I’m very busy now” 😂. Ask me what this girl does that she’s always “vewy vewy busy”. 

One thing she does also that may irritate people especially in the “Nigerian culture” is ask a lot of “why’s”. Everything you tell her, she will ask you “why” it should be so; and when you answer her, she’ll ask you “why” that is🤦🏽‍♀️😂. She’s very interested in the process of things.

The second one says “e nuh working” (it’s not working) for EVERY thing! If her food is hot and she can’t eat it, “e nuh working”. If she can’t pull her socks or she’s trying to open a door and she’s unable to, “e nuh working”. Anything that stresses her is literally not working, and that’s exactly her personality. She’s forward and outspoken, and she will call you out. If it’s not working, it’s not working. Period.

Both of them act like my older sister and I when we were kids. The first one doesn’t like food much except for spaghetti, jollof rice and beans, second one loves food and eats anything and everything. The first one doesn’t like wahala, the second one is troublesome and very dramatic. I was troublesome and stubborn, but I can’t remember being dramatic like this girl is. She wakes up in the morning and starts crying for no reason at all. 

She’s always trying to do “ogboju” (ogboju means mild bullying in Yoruba) for her elder sister. That one can be playing with a toy that’s hers and this girl will just started dragging it with her and claiming “e miine” (it’s mine). Everything is her own whether it actually belongs to her or not. And once she just starts her drama, the older one will just be like “okay okay okay, it’s for both of us, take take take”. Lol. She’s just like this girl carry your wahala and go. Sometimes she shows her, if she gives her one blow like this ehn, then that one will report to the whole world that her sister hit her, choosing to forget that she has been harassing her sister and her sister finally reacted.

It’s funny how I’m the one who can’t stand her drama at all. She knows I give her tough time so she’s always giving me the side eye. “You tell me say you stubborn I tell you say I stubborn pass you”, omo olomo o le pa iya oniya.

TBT NYSC

I just randomly remembered this guy I met in NYSC so I decided to write about it. Most of my life, I had been uninterested in everything, not making friends except for a few people who’d been my roommates or course mates in secondary school or uni and by chance we just became friends. I’ve always felt out of place in most gatherings and it was the same in NYSC camp. Except for my roommate who we would get food or attend church together, and an older lady in my platoon, I didn’t make friends.

Most days, I would hide in my room because, sometimes by myself, sometimes two or three of us would remain in the room and ask someone to lock the door from outside and we would sleep and be very careful not to alert the soldiers whenever they were moving around to check if there were otondos hiding behind in some rooms. I think they caught us once because everyone else had left before myself and one other person decided we were not going for lecture that was holding and there was no one to lock the door from outside so we could only lock it from the inside. I can’t remember exactly how it went but I think I was able to convince them I wasn’t feeling well and the other person was looking after me and then they said we should be in the clinic and not the room and asked us to go to the clinic.

I served in Plateau State. I remember when I was waiting for NYSC posting and people would ask me if I was “working” it to the south west, I would say no that I don’t want to be close to home for NYSC, that I would like to be posted to somewhere like Plateau State. 

I didn’t kuku know anyone who could help with the posting and I didn’t go out of my way to find someone to help with the reposting. The only states I had ever been to were Lagos (residence), Ogun (Secondary school), Osun (Uni) and Oyo (Hometown). So I felt like I should go outside southwest for NYSC to experience another part of Nigeria. For some reason I also didn’t exactly want to go the East or the North so I just felt somewhere like Plateau State would be nice and that’s what I told people when they asked me. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I got what I asked for. Iya je, nonsense and bastard si mi lara. Hey God, I suffered. I was posted to arguably the worst local government in Plateau State, Langtang South Local Government. From what I gathered, a group of Christians relocated to the place because of religious fights in neighboring towns or the major city and it became their settlement/home. There were Muslims there too, but if I remember correctly, it was mostly like a settlement for Christians . 

At the time I served there, there was no electricity and no clean source of water. They only had dams which they also shared with their animals. God/my mothers head tried to save me from that place hut hmmm. As much as I can be an impromptu and carefree person, I’m also extremely introverted and I don’t pass my boundary. I don’t take risks when it comes to safety. I remembe qq r I was desperately searching for a job one time and one man asked me to bring my CV to his office and something about the man was just off, or maybe I was being my scared self. I just never went. Ok... I just remembered why I didn’t go, when I shook the man, he peeped behind me, smiled and said okay come to my office. Mscheww, abi mo ti wa ni. Stupid agbaya.

Back to NYSC, we had gone back home after the first resumption to our PPA and we were returning back to Langtang South to resume fully. I planned with a few coppers in Langtang South and neighboring towns to meet up at ABC Park in Jos that night so we would sleep over at the park till the next morning and continue our journey to our various local governments. Those of us residing in South west and East could not make it to Langtang South by road in a day so we had to break the journey into two days. 

That night, a group of us left to buy food at a restaurant close to the park. It was taking a while for us to get attended to because there were quite a number of people placing orders and the attendants seemed to be favoring others above us, probably because we were in NYSC khakis. I asked one of the  attendants why it was taking so long for them to attend to us, abi because we’re coppers we brought mattress to sleep there🙄. An elderly man standing beside me replied jokingly that our food would be the sweetest if we wait the longest or some joke like that. Just to mention that my alter ego is friendly, so she was the one relating to the man here. I laughed and we started a light conversation. When we got our food, I said something like “it was nice meeting you Sir, we have finally gotten our food, hope it would be the sweetest as you said o.” 

It was then the man mentioned he is the owner of the restaurant and then proceeded to offer me a place to stay in town if I needed one. Ha.. it would be nice to stay in Jos instead of Langtang south o but... I thanked him and told him my PPA was far from Jos so it might not be possible for me to go there from Jos. I think the man sensed that I declined because I thought it was a bad idea and not necessarily because of the distance between Jos and my PPA; he said I should still consider it and that I could try to get another PPA around Jos or something. I don’t think I even had any PPA yet sef, I was just scared; before they will go and use someone to do money ritual (my head is strong sha so ori mi o le gba bode in Jesus Name). I sha thanked him again and respectfully declined and said goodbye. By this time, others were waiting for me so I couldn’t really continue the conversation. 

When we got back to the park, I told Chidinma about the free accommodation offer. She was the closest to me there, we were both posted to Langtang South and we were planning to get a room together. Although I planned to strike a deal with my Al or ZI so I could go back home while they take my alawee, I wasn’t completely sure how the deal would go. I asked Chidinma if we could go together to check the place the man was offering to at least see if was a safe option. There was no way we could really be sure of the man’s intentions or our safety but I felt if we wouldn’t be sharing the same space with him and his family; if it was like a boys quarter or a separate apartment and if he agreed that my friend could stay with me, then I would consider the offer. 

Chidinma was five years older than me and she liked to act the role of my big sister so i felt it would be safer to stay with her at the place the man was offering rather than stay alone. I was really hoping she would agree because I mean, we would be in Jos, we would save rent money and we could get better PPAs. Chidinma said No, the man was a stranger and that was that. She had a valid point. If I was to solely take the decision by myself too, it most likely would have been a No as well, I was probably just looking for someone to fan my hope abi how do they say it. The man seemed like a good-natured person who genuinely just offered to make my life a bit easier during NYSC, but there was no way I was going to consider staying at his place alone, vacant or not (May we not enter one chance in Jesus Name).

LANGTANG SOUTH:

When we first got to Langtang South, myself and a few other otondos would do everything, including bathing, with pure water. The set before us used to laugh at us and say we would soon get tired. They eventually taught us the trick; you fetch the dam water (pay malams to fetch it actually because the place was far), baptize the water with alums, after the dirt settles, transfer the “clean” water to another bucket and throw away the dirt, then pour in water sanitizer/purifier to further cleanse the water.

We were there for one or two weeks after the initial posting and then most people left to go home before coming back to resume fully. When I was “resuming fully”, my major aim was to go there and make a deal with the Area or Zonal Inspector so I would return home and they would be taking my “alawe”(monthly allowance). That took longer than I expected because the Zonal inspector I was supposed to see didn’t come to town often and he needed to sign some agreements or something in order for me to leave Langtang South. I didn’t go back fully prepared to stay because I thought I would be back home soonest. Most of the time, I would wake up in the morning, realize I was still in Langtang South and I had not been transported back home miraculously while sleeping, and I would burst into tears. I would just sit on my mattress and ask God why I was still here and cried till I was tired. Eventually I was able to get the deal signed and I returned home. After some months, I was called that the Zonal Inspector was being transferred and all coppers needed to be present before the new person resumed, so I had to go back. At that time I had only about 3-5 months left and we were told the initial arrangement may take a while, that’s if at all it would continue because we heard the new Z.I was very strict. The copper president in our local government then (can’t remember exactly what they were called) advised me to just stay and complete the few months. 

It was around the time I went back that Batch C resumed. Out of empathy and because I was practically new myself, (even though I was quite friendly with most of the coppers in my batch because most of them treated me like the “last born”), I think connected with the Batch C corpers more. AY was cool, and he carried himself in a certain admirable manner. He would volunteer to lead activities here and there, so generally, people liked him. Somehow, both of us became close instantly. We had a long chat I think the first day they got to Langtang; we just started to gist, and before we knew it, it was evening. It was such a breath of fresh air for me to find someone I could really talk to in langtang. As time went on, we became closer…

So I have two major regrets from NYSC year. First, I could have taken the man’s offer for free accommodation, gotten a better PPA and my NYSC year could have been completely different from what it was. Maybe I would have gotten a job and stayed behind in Jos even after NYSC. For some reason, I still like Plateau State; but when I was using my mouth to call Plateau for my NYSC, I didn’t specify so the universe choose Langtang South for me. The man’s offer was supposed to be like a second chance, but I couldn’t take it because of fear. Abeg na naija we dey, ritual na your mate? Had to also think of my safety. Secondly, the way I handled my friendship with AY. Those were the two things that could have been my major positives from my NYSC year, but “Idiswhadidis”.

I had quite a number of toasters that year sha, and it was strange to me because even though I’ve never really considered myself attractive, I "hated" myself even more that year. I thought I looked horrible, so I didn’t get why I had so many toasters. And I didn’t date any of them 🤦🏽‍♀️

I consider my NYSC year to be one of the worst years of my life, and I’ve had some pretty rough ones. So yeah I’d vote SCRAP NYSC anyday, it’s a no for me.

You yourself you can see how long and boring this story is right? “It didn’t worth it”.

01-01-2021💃💃💃

 01-01-2021

I’m trying to gauge my feelings this morning; yesterday night I was hyped. I joined crossover online. Can’t believe there wasn’t physical crossover, I always look forward to it every year. I just dance, dance and dance. Anyways, we still danced? So Corona - 0 Crossover - 1. 

This morning I’m more sober though. I’m home alone with babayo because my sister who we should have been around together went for retreat. My older sister is going with her family to her in-laws so I can’t go and visit them. They came here for Christmas, They usually rotate between the grandparents for Christmas and new year.

Meanwhile, Iyaayo, Anintus got a great job💃💃💃💃, and she was called yesterday 31st December 2020. It was such a happy moment for us. I hope you’re smiling too. 

So as I was saying, what am I feeling like today? In my usual manner I’m feeling a bit blank. Since we lost Iyaayo, all celebrations feel bittersweet. I usually think about what she would have been doing if she was still here. We probably would have cooked into the new year, I’m just now realizing how much work these festive periods meant for her, yes we used to do it together but she used to do the bulk of it because she would have gone to the market and all before we all got home from wherever we were staying for work or so. 

I went to the market yesterday and by the time I got to the Igbo man’s shop where I usually get provisions, my eyes were seeing double. I had to sit at the provision store and place my head on a table for a while before I could stand again. I almost fainted. Maybe it was because I didn’t eat before going to the market sha, but ”even though!”. I think ordering food for festivities is the way forward from next year. Mi o le wa ku. And this woman used to do all that wahala all through the year, na wa o. How was she doing it? Older generations of African women are the real MVPs! Thank God I wasn’t born in that generation because I can’t. I simply can’t mehn. 

Anyway, I have a lot of work to do today because my sister is still at the retreat so the earlier I get to it, the better. In fact, my father dun dey call me😂. 

Ok o, till next time. Maybe I’ll do this every day in 2021. Amem? I want to write more this year, whether significant experiences or just daily chronicles. lol. I also want to be more organized, more in tune with my inner self, more proactive, less reactive. I want to feel light and joy throughout 2021. I think writing everyday would help me become a better person. 

Also, I’ve been thinking this wild thought since yesterday or day before yesterday that maybe I should start a YouTube channel in 2021. Hehehehe, see I’m extremely soft spoken, weird, considering how outspoken and confrontational I can be. To be honest, I’m insecure about how I talk because it comes out as very slow(especially on the phone). I don’t like my voice at all. Oh, and I’ll have to learn video editing and all. Hey God. We shall see sha, I just might do YouTube in 2021 and call it diaryofaboringgirl😔. Everybody na kuku diary of something these days.

Up Nepa!! Ok bye, let me go before babayo comes back to call me again (kin to te😂). 

Cheers to GOODNESS, PEACE, LOVE, JOY, BEAUTY, GREATNESS, HUMANITY and everything good and sweet and nice in 2021. Byeeee

So I wrote this in my notes and just copied it here today.  Happy new year world 🙂

And let me just reiterate; you see that cooking on Christmas and New year’s days, take it from me, “it didn’t worth it”. To make matters worse, the recipes I tried on both days, all of them lazzdent. My sisters have been making fun of me that I did residue not recipe. Sebi I for kuku cook wetin I know. Lesson learnt. There’s no point cooking all day and the food won’t even be as sweet as the one we can order from people that cooking is their actual calling. So it’s no longer happening. Bloody waste of time. It didn’t worth it at all🚶‍♀️🚶‍♀️

Why I stopped “blogging”

Recently, I was reminded by someone on Twitter that I have a blog, he mentioned he’d just read my blogs and asked why I stopped blogging. Firstly, I’m not a blogger, at least not yet. I think I created this blog to just rant. I’ve never seen myself as a writer, I just write down my experiences because it makes me feel a bit lighter. I guess that’s why I don’t give too much thought to the professionalism or writing style.  

Anyway, I was trying to figure out the answer to why I stopped blogging so I visited this blog and saw that my last post was end of 2017/beginning of 2018. Not that the blogs were regular before then, it somehow got lost in between shitty jobs, but I completely forgot the blog existed since 2018. Like I even forgot that the link was on my twitter profile...smh. Sometimes I deal with trauma by forgetting. I couldn’t forget I lost my mom for long because it kept coming back, so I guess I forgot other things (if that makes sense). 

I lost my mom in 2018. It’s still very strange to me. LOL! I don’t have a mother again. Iya Ayo is “dead”. Wawuu. Iyaayo is my our nickname for my mom. My dad used to call her Mummy Ayo and my mom used to call my Dad Daddy Ayo, so we changed it to “Iyaayo” and “Babayo” but only my mom knows we call them that (I think).

I wonder why she doesn’t come to say hello in my dreams. Some people see their lost loved ones in dreams. Why isn’t she coming to say hello. Sometimes I feel like seeing a medium to talk to her. She was such a funny and strong woman who found a way to move forward from everything life threw at her. One of my major heart aches is that if I have children, they’ll never get to meet their funny grandmother. She was so hard working, she lived such a tough life. I wonder why life is so unkind to some people. She would say “omo alagbara ni y’ole” (My apologies, I don’t feel like translating. Please put it on google if you want to know the meaning. Thanks).

In case you noticed that I wrote “if I have children” and you’re wondering why the “if”. I think I lost “appetite“ for children when I lost my mom because I felt like I didn’t want my children to ever feel the way I’m feeling if they lost me earlier than expected, hence the “if”. I’ve always been the “black sheep” though, so it’s not surprising (at least to me that I might not want children). Then one day I saw my old tweets and saw pictures of cute babies and I kept retweeting with “I want”, “I want”. It was then I asked myself why I didn’t want children anymore and later realized it was the feeling I felt when I lost my mom that changed the desire. But then I realized it doesn’t really make sense. It’s like saying I want to stop living NOW because I will still end up dying, but still I have lost most of my desire to have kids. I’m not entirely sure my mom’s death is the reason why I’m not such a fan of necessarily giving birth to your own children when there are children in the world already that you can take care of. I just knew I didn’t want to have children at some point, and when I tried to search within as to why, I could only trace it to the trauma of losing my mom. 

My emotions can be annoying sometimes sha, because just as I was writing the previous sentence, I felt(feel) like having a cute baby girl. ‘What a betrayed’. Maybe when I meet Mr Right, I’ll feel like having his children so this lack of enthusiasm will disappear completely and I’ll end up having seven children or a dozen. Who knows anything in this funny life? Another reason this “not having kids” thing might not work is because I really want twins and there’s no hope of giving birth to twins if I don’t born right? I really really want twins though, so Dear God, please, twins? PLEEAAASE. And don’t let me die while giving birth to them o😒, T for Tenks Sir. My mom told us her mother died while trying to give birth twins, they lost both my grandmother and the twins. My mom was just two. Anyway, I’m not as enthusiastic as I was about having kids, but if I change my mind, I want twins.

I really get tired of life and it’s entire concept sometimes sha, the cycle can be confusing. Some people think one of the major reasons we’re here is to procreate, that just doesn’t sound smart, I’m sorry. That’s just too … can’t find the word now. I’ve never really understood the whole idea of human beings coming to earth in the first place and then going back to Heaven sha. Many people if not most are miserable here anyway, why is God continuing with this process? I guess I won’t get it until I go to Heaven and get a chance to ask God myself.

Hmmm, Iya-Ayo, PLEASE be happy wherever you are. You deserve all the happiness. You have left this strange world. I used to cry myself to sleep and try not to let Bolaji see me, how could you leave your last born just like that Iya Ayo. I don’t want to imagine how she misses you. And Yinka,  she never got a chance to see you again. I still can’t tell voice the words “Mummy ti ku”, don’t know if I’ll ever be able to say it. Hmn... Iya Ayo, Sun re o. GOD PLEASE DON’T LET HER BE UNHAPPY WHEREVER SHE IS, PLEASE! LET HER BE HAPPY, PLEASE GOD. She can’t live a sad life on earth and be unhappy in the after life, if there is an after life. 

Babayo is going through so much guilt now (I am too), it’s so heart breaking to watch him go through the guilt. He talks about you with such admiration now, “my wife this”, “my wife that”. It’s easy now to imagine the times before his sickness that you said “won feran mi gan” (he adored/loved me so much). He praises you. I just don’t understand why he refused to take his drugs all those years and couldn’t be kind to you. No be you cause the sickness, you even suffered the most for it. If he had dealt with it the right way, it would have made everything so much easier. You were a true hero Iyaayo. And my greatest wish in life right now is for you to be VERY VERY HAPPY wherever you are now. The thought of you being possibly unhappy now after the life you had is messing with my head. Please just be happy, you deserve it.

I don’t think I would have lived as long if I lived your life, and I don’t know if I could bear to sacrifice my entire life for my family like you did. Maybe it’s part of why I’m scared of marriage. My mental health is kinda shitty, so I might just run away if God decided to try me like that. Mummy Ibadan is carrying on the gospel for you; the last time she came to Lagos, she said her Pastors said I will become very wealthy as soon as I get married🤣. Whether that one is real prophecy or motivational prophecy, abeg allow me be rich before getting married then it can continue after the marriage. E sanu mi. Please I want to start being wealthy now now now, why is the wealth waiting till I get married. No please. I manifest the prophecy now!

Back to daddy; most of the time when he tries to talk about you, he gets emotional. He’s always saying he wants to marry a second wife like he’s trying to convince himself, and we are even praying he does but we have not seen second wife yet o. Somebody that doesn’t even go anywhere. I pray he finds joy and spends the rest of his life happiness, he deserves it. He told us his story, life can be so mean to some people. He said when he married you, he stopped being lonely, and now he’s lonely again. We are all too engrossed with making something of ourselves right now but as soon as I get some financial balance, I’ll ensure we publish his story. He wrote it in Yoruba, maybe we can have a Yoruba and English version.

I’m also dealing with my own guilt too,  I was such a judgmental and troublesome child. I should have been a better daughter. I’m sorry, I’m so so sorry, so so so sorry Mummy. Please forgive me. Please say hello somehow Iyaayo. Oga o, e miss wa ni? I want to have a picture of you being happy where you are. I want to have an idea of where you are. Is there heaven? Are you there? Can you see us? Ibo le wa Iya Ayo?

Ps: I think it’s about time I wrote about my experience the night/morning my mom died (again). I wrote about it one random day in my notes, but I don't know how I mistakenly  deleted it. I was WEAK for days. I hate rewriting emotions, and this was about iyaayo's death. I googled and searched and tried every possible way to recover the deleted Note but apparently I didn't have the option for my Notes to be saved in iCloud then so I lost it completely. Ah, o dun mi, it actually made me depressed (yinmu, like I wasn’t already). Anyway, now I have to write it again and I feel sad because it can never be like the first time I wrote about it. I like writing things exactly how I feel so I think that's why I don't like editing or rewriting experiences, but sometimes I read and have no choice but to edit because you can't just write everything as it's doing you for world people to read. 

Iyaayo, sun re o. We gon make it big by God's grace sha, it's the least we can do to honour you. 💚

YET ANOTHER AVOIDABLE DEATH!

Third of June was a peaceful happy Sunday, until the news hit the ground! My sister and I were on our way home from shopping when she said “a Dana plane just crashed”. I thought she said Ghana, so I ‘corrected’ her that the plane crash happened since yesterday (2^nd June) and that I already read about it. 

When we got home, my friend too repeated it and it was then I heard correctly, DANA. A plane belonging to DANA AIR had crashed at Iju-Ishaga. A part of me prayed that kind of prayer that goes ‘Please God, let it not be true’. Another part of my brain calculated away, how many people would be on that plane? I just was not ready to take another bad news. I’ve heard so much of those in recent times that I feel like disappearing from this planet already, not anymore please! It was until evening before I accepted the fact that this one too has come to stay. Another set of people killed in Nigeria from sheer negligence.

Or which adjective would be suitable to qualify the crashing of a plane that last had an emergency landing on the 25^th of May(or even 1st of June as rumours have it) and was flown again on the 3^rd of June. I do not blame DANA AIR who traded the lives of the Nigerian people for money; neither do I blame the the Flight Engineer and Pilots who knew the plane was faulty but went ahead to gamble with their lives, dragging innocent lives with them. I only blame the Nigerian government that refuses to enforce regulations, checks and balances to guide the aviation sector and all sectors in this country. This plane was sold by Alaska Airlines in 2009 after been abandoned for a while due to serious faults. If a plane is no longer worthy to fly Alaskans, why should it be allowed to fly Nigerians? Does it mean a Nigerian’s life is of less value? If someone did his/her job well, that plane should not have been allowed into this country at all.

I understand the company's license has been suspended. My question though is why do we always have to wait until something drastic happens before we act at all. Why is the company's license suspended instead of being withdrawn completely? In saner climes, the management of DANA AIR NIGERIA would go to jail for putting one hundred and fifty-three people on a faulty plane that was abandoned and sold out by its original owner. It is only in Nigeria you will find that an authoritative figure will give permission to business investors or owners to trample upon his countrymen as long as he/she gets ‘his/her own share of the deal’. It irritates me that public officers would award contracts to incompetent hands or connive with contractors to inflate the prices of projects and materials; then when the results of their crookedness manifest in form bad roads, lack of medical equipments and other death-traps, they shed tears, ‘commiserate with those who lost loved ones’, pray that ‘God will grant them the fortitude to bear the loss’ and move on to the next project still with ‘their share’ in mind.

An unidentified staff of DANA AIR confirmed that the pilot alerted the management about the critical condition of the plane on his way to Abuja from Lagos and even suggested returning to Lagos, but he was ordered to go ahead and land in Abuja and bring back passengers to Lagos. This is sheer wickedness. From the information I gathered, if a plane is in such critical state, it is supposed to be flown without passengers to wherever it will be repaired if it must be moved to another location to be repaired. The death of those people was totally avoidable, what we desperately lack is someone to confront DANA with this fact. Until the Nigerian government places high value on the lives of citizens, nobody else will. Local and foreign business owners in Nigeria have been encouraged to treat their employees and customers with little or no regard because there are no consequences for their actions.

There have been cases of factory workers losing their arms or legs to machines without adequate health care from the employer. Some years back, workers were locked up in a factory overnight, a fire accident occurred and they all died as they were unable to escape. I do not remember any serious punishment meted out to the management of that company. A minister once visited the Benin-Ore road and wept, up till now that road takes people’s lives every now and then. 

Can government officials just stop the “weeping” and do just do their jobs??? We may not need to weep so much if we shun the ‘Ghana-must-go’es that exchange hands when decisions are being made, or ensure that everyone does his job well or gets the appropriate consequences for doing otherwise, or create and enforce laws that will uphold rather than degrade human dignity in this country. I will end my thoughts for now by borrowing from the words of our leaders to ‘commiserate’ with those who have suddenly become widows, widowers, fatherless, motherless, orphans due to the plane crash and I also pray that ‘God will grant them the fortitude to bear the loss’.

My dad, My hero.

So it was my dad's birthday the other day and I just thougt I’d write something about him. 

          

My dad has four girls and he has always believed in us. When all his friends bought flashy cars and built houses, my dad saved up for us. He always makes sure we're as comfortable as he can afford. My dad is not rich, but he saved up to give his children quality and expensive education. I remember when I just got into the university; he gave me #100,000 as pocket money. Though I was never extravagant, I was very comfortable throughout my stay in the university. My mom says all the time that she would have argued if anyone told her that her children would attend private universities.
        

I graduated with a second class lower division, and that is my biggest regret so far. He didn't chastise me for it though. He said he saw no reason why I couldn't have performed better, but that I still did well and he will always be proud of us. I felt totally disappointed in myself, but more than that, I felt like I failed him. That I couldn't bear. What was I thinking to have put in anything less than my best, when I knew all the while how this man toils. This degree won't stop me though, I vowed to myself that from then on I'll put in my best in whatever I do. If not for myself, then for my dad. I will never fail him again! My dad is over 60 years and we still live in a rented apartment.

I can’t wait to fulfill our dad's desires on his behalf, I shall make my dad very proud. Buy him nice cars, send him on vacations, buy him a nice house Etcetera. He deserves it.

Ps: We moved to our own house years ago, after I wrote this. I’m thinking of sharing this post with him on his next birthday🤔

Who did Jonathan Offend?!

Who did Jonathan Offend?

Where I come from, if things are not going very well for you, then you must have offended someone who has a 'strong head' or some powerful forces. Jonathan's term is less than a year but has attracted so much chaos and condemnation, so I analysed from that crude mindset and I figured he must have offended somebody or a very powerful force indeed. The interesting thing I found was that this theory worked, Jonathan has indeed offended a powerful force- Nigerians. Interestingly, this is quite unexpected because Nigerians seldom get angry. It's a break from the norm, a drastic turnaround. Nigerians are angry! Nigerians are known to be a happy people, 'suffering and smiling' is the popular phrase by which we describe ourselves.

So what went wrong,or rather, what went right? How did Jonathan manage to make Nigerians angry? It turns out it wasn't him afterall, it was the timing. Nigerians have swelled up so much and they're almost at the point of bursting. So its the wrong time for anyone, even 'Goodluck' to mess up. Around the time we were preparing for the 2011 elections, Nigerians dared to hope for change. We were surprisingly interested in the elections, looking out for someone who was truly interested in Nigeria and 'the masses' (as we refer to the 80% who live below poverty line). Unfortunately for Jonathan, they chose him. For the first time in a long while, Nigerians truly believed in someone. More than they believed in the man, they believed in his name. You see, Nigerians are highly superstitious. A person who is named Goodluck, therefore can bring us nothing but good luck. Now you would think that this belief would only be popular amongst the uneducated, but I remember clearly the words of a learned friend of mine 'The opposite of goodluck is badluck'. Implying that any other candidate apart from 'Goodluck' would bring badluck to Nigeria.

Another inherent feature of Nigerians is that we hardly trust people, its too risky. Everyone (sometimes including yourself) is a suspect. Other than the name though, there's another core reason why Nigerians believed in Goodluck Jonathan. He had a humble beginning. He had been part of 'the struggle', he understood lack and deprivation to an extent; he had no shoes during his schooldays so he walked barefoot to school. Many Nigerians connected to him on this level, they felt this one would definitely treat us fairer, that he would be different from the others. The elections had Nigerians of various age groups and class pouring out in their millions to vote for their 'messiah', Goodluck Jonathan. Even though the elections were still not totally free and fair (come on, this is Nigeria where only an utter fool puts all his eggs in one basket), I dare say Jonathan had an 80% chance of emerging the President anyway. People overlooked the evil umbrella of PDP and actually said things like “It’s the man and not the party that matters”.

This is why Nigerians are angry! Goodluck Ebele Jonathan turned out not to be the messiah they thought and sought. In fact he is turning out to be the exact opposite. He has betrayed their trust, made a fool out of them. It’s like entering into a relationship with someone and you think you finally found your soul mate but the person turns out to be worse than your ex. It seems like every action this supposed 'Nigerian messiah'  takes frustrates the Nigerian people the more.  Rather than come up with reasonable possible solutions for pressing issues, our dear President Jonathan would rather throw up some distraction with his famous 'announcements'; pretending to be relevant by clinging to irrelevant issues. The latest of these is the change of name from University of Lagos to Moshood Abiola University. If I were Abiola, I'd rather he took after me in good deeds than force my name upon an institution that doesn't want it. With giant problems such as terrorism, poverty, lack of basic infrastructure, terrible governance and the increasingly thriving inflation, one wonders how the conversion of Unilag to MAUL would bring any consolation to the Nigerian people.
This anger manifested itself in the popular protest which occurred in January after the president's insensitive announcement of the removal of subsidy (which I believe is non-existent anyway) on the first day of a new year. If not for NLC and TUC who as usual "reasoned with the Federal government", maybe once and for all Nigerians would have rid themselves of the kind of government who imposes inconsequential and agonizing laws on the people. We learnt a great message from that though; the NLC & TUC are not big and bold enough to represent all Nigerians.

We have to find our own voice and make it heard. There will be a next time, and this time the likes of NLC and TUC will not be influential enough to suppress either our voice or our anger. Like the saying goes, "He who fights and runs away lives to fight another day".

NIGERIA'S PROBLEM, OUR ATTITUDE.

I boarded BRT (Lagos State Government Bus), like I do every morning when going to work. I sat on the outer part of a twin seat with the inner part having a platform, so whoever seats there had to place his/her legs on it instead of the floor of the bus(I deserved to be more comfortable since I got there earlier, right?). It turned out though that I would still have to seat there because the person that was left to seat there when the bus was almost filled up was a pregnant woman. As I moved in, she said thank you but I didn't reply because my brain didn't really register the fact that I deserved one. When she sat down she said thank you again and then I replied with a mumble, realizing then that in her mind I had done her a favour. Then a thought crossed my mind that there was a possibility that someone else would have just stood up to allow her into the less convenient seat but then I reaffirmed myself that nobody would do that. If the seat was inconvenient for me (a non-pregnant lady), I imagined how much more inconvenient she would feel with her legs raised, cramping her protruded tummy.

To cut the long story short; just as I convinced myself it’s a natural 'favour' anyone would do, I remembered a scenario I witnessed, months earlier when I also boarded a lagbus. A lady was sitting on one of the twin seats and the person that was left to seat there was a blind man, who was also a regular passenger. The lady simply stood up for the man (who wasn't seeing her) to go in, watched one of the officials help the man into the seat, and sat back down. I also noticed that no one sitting close by offered to swap a seat for the man. I kept staring at the back of the lady's head in shock and thinking, seriously?

That day I got it-this is why Nigeria remains underdeveloped while countries with less resources develop so quickly. It's our attitude! Our lack of compassion, self-centeredness, inconsiderate behavior, lack of kindness and generally the attitude of thinking about one's self alone without consideration for the impact of our actions on other people's feelings. That's why someone can conveniently steal money that is meant for pensioners, or kill someone (actually take someone else's precious life!) for refusing to give him #50. To most of us, 'it’s all about me'. That's why Nigeria has refused to move forward, she lacks genuine good people. She breeds the kind of people who budget #1.3bn for Feeding allowance while millions of others go hungry, the kind who prefer to waste and squander resources rather than maximize it for the good of all. Most of us can't stand our leaders, but the truth is that many of us will do much worse if given the same opportunities.

This is where it all begins- basic moral values and principles. If you can't inconvenience yourself for an hour just for the sake of kindness, you obviously lack the capacity to feel other people's pain. If you can't feel other people's pain, you can't be the best you should be as an individual. If you are not your best as an individual, you can't be your best as a leader. Many Nigerians steal from their bosses without even feeling guilty about it. Our leaders are also picked from the lot of us. If an individual is not honest while managing a few resources, I don't know why we expect him to be better when given larger resources to handle. If we do not-individually and collectively- commit to embracing and practicing excellent moral values, we should not expect to have the 'good leaders' we so desperately seek in a long while.

I therefore challenge every Nigerian to do his/her part by consciously seeking to be an excellent individual. Do your job to the best of your ability, do not take bribe, show kindness as much as you can, give freely and love genuinely. My pastor says all the time that a person who cannot love people genuinely can never be a good leader. A leader is supposed to influence and motivate people. A person can only be a great leader if he has greatness inside of him because you can't give what you don't have. Do unto others what you would prefer they do to you. Even when people do not reciprocate your good behaviour, do not become bad because of it. It only makes you the bigger person.

When I was dropping from the bus, the woman said "Thank you very much" and I replied with "You're welcome". By this time I fully understood and accepted that exchanging my more convenient seat for her less convenient seat was not a natural act, but a favour I chose to do.

A NEW NIGERIAN CONSTITUTION - MY PROPOSAL.

1) All Public officers must make use of public facilities i.e hospitals, schools etc. Consequently, there shall be no provision or allowances for such facilities.
2) That all Public Officers at all levels are subject to probe during or after public service.
3) That any Public Officer during or after service found to have misappropriated funds or misused his position will serve a minimum of seven years in public prison without provision for bail.
4) All arms of Government except for the Executive arm should be made part-time services.
5) That the Head of State does not have the exclusive right to sign funds for any kind of projects, rather the body that controls finance approves funds for projects if proven to be viable.
6) That if the head of the finance body is found to sign funds for a non-viable project or due to sentiments or attachments, He/ She will be removed from office immediately and charged with misappropriation of funds punishable by seven years minimal jail-term.
7) That there will be no use of Car Siren for the passage of any Public Officer or Citizen except for health and emergency cases.
8) That any Public Officer found to behave grossly; verbally or physically abuse anyone during public or official meeting will be removed from office immediately and permanently suspended from occupying Political posts.
9) That State Governments be given the obligation to develop and maximize their natural resources, human resources and infrastructure.
10) All Governorship aspirants must have at least eight years political experience with significant and proven record.
11) All Presidential aspirants must have at least Twelve years political experience with significant and proven record.
12) That anyone who seeks to join the legislative arm of government must have a record of at least four years of social contribution and must be a consultant in his/her profession.
13) Any political aspirant found guilty of sharing materials or money as incentives to canvass votes during political campaign must be disqualified and suspended from contesting for any political position for eight years.
14) That all Public Officers must publicly declare their assets before and after taking up a post.
15) All public Officers when leaving a post must publish a report and analysis of funds received and managed during his/her term.
16) That the duties and responsibilities of Local Government officials be explicitly communicated to the people of their zones in order to aid accountability and measure of performance.
17) All members of the Senate and House of Assembly must be highly accessible by the people in the zones and wards they represent. (Suggestion: Phones, E-mails, Physical complaint, Suggestion Box etc)
18) All complaints and suggestions forwarded to a Speaker or Senator must be treated within Thirty days, after which the Senator or Speaker representing the zone would be charged with 'Neglect of Duty' and could be removed from office if He/ She is not able to provide reasonable reasons for neglect.
19) That Ministerial appointees be elected in their various sectors and ministries.
20) Public Officers are not allowed to borrow or divert Public or Official Facilities or Materials e.g funds, cars, buildings, jets for personal use. Any Public Officer found guilty of the above must be made to resign and suspended from Public Office for Eight years.