TBT NYSC

I just randomly remembered this guy I met in NYSC so I decided to write about it. Most of my life, I had been uninterested in everything, not making friends except for a few people who’d been my roommates or course mates in secondary school or uni and by chance we just became friends. I’ve always felt out of place in most gatherings and it was the same in NYSC camp. Except for my roommate who we would get food or attend church together, and an older lady in my platoon, I didn’t make friends.

Most days, I would hide in my room because, sometimes by myself, sometimes two or three of us would remain in the room and ask someone to lock the door from outside and we would sleep and be very careful not to alert the soldiers whenever they were moving around to check if there were otondos hiding behind in some rooms. I think they caught us once because everyone else had left before myself and one other person decided we were not going for lecture that was holding and there was no one to lock the door from outside so we could only lock it from the inside. I can’t remember exactly how it went but I think I was able to convince them I wasn’t feeling well and the other person was looking after me and then they said we should be in the clinic and not the room and asked us to go to the clinic.

I served in Plateau State. I remember when I was waiting for NYSC posting and people would ask me if I was “working” it to the south west, I would say no that I don’t want to be close to home for NYSC, that I would like to be posted to somewhere like Plateau State. 

I didn’t kuku know anyone who could help with the posting and I didn’t go out of my way to find someone to help with the reposting. The only states I had ever been to were Lagos (residence), Ogun (Secondary school), Osun (Uni) and Oyo (Hometown). So I felt like I should go outside southwest for NYSC to experience another part of Nigeria. For some reason I also didn’t exactly want to go the East or the North so I just felt somewhere like Plateau State would be nice and that’s what I told people when they asked me. 

Ladies and gentlemen, I got what I asked for. Iya je, nonsense and bastard si mi lara. Hey God, I suffered. I was posted to arguably the worst local government in Plateau State, Langtang South Local Government. From what I gathered, a group of Christians relocated to the place because of religious fights in neighboring towns or the major city and it became their settlement/home. There were Muslims there too, but if I remember correctly, it was mostly like a settlement for Christians . 

At the time I served there, there was no electricity and no clean source of water. They only had dams which they also shared with their animals. God/my mothers head tried to save me from that place hut hmmm. As much as I can be an impromptu and carefree person, I’m also extremely introverted and I don’t pass my boundary. I don’t take risks when it comes to safety. I remembe qq r I was desperately searching for a job one time and one man asked me to bring my CV to his office and something about the man was just off, or maybe I was being my scared self. I just never went. Ok... I just remembered why I didn’t go, when I shook the man, he peeped behind me, smiled and said okay come to my office. Mscheww, abi mo ti wa ni. Stupid agbaya.

Back to NYSC, we had gone back home after the first resumption to our PPA and we were returning back to Langtang South to resume fully. I planned with a few coppers in Langtang South and neighboring towns to meet up at ABC Park in Jos that night so we would sleep over at the park till the next morning and continue our journey to our various local governments. Those of us residing in South west and East could not make it to Langtang South by road in a day so we had to break the journey into two days. 

That night, a group of us left to buy food at a restaurant close to the park. It was taking a while for us to get attended to because there were quite a number of people placing orders and the attendants seemed to be favoring others above us, probably because we were in NYSC khakis. I asked one of the  attendants why it was taking so long for them to attend to us, abi because we’re coppers we brought mattress to sleep there🙄. An elderly man standing beside me replied jokingly that our food would be the sweetest if we wait the longest or some joke like that. Just to mention that my alter ego is friendly, so she was the one relating to the man here. I laughed and we started a light conversation. When we got our food, I said something like “it was nice meeting you Sir, we have finally gotten our food, hope it would be the sweetest as you said o.” 

It was then the man mentioned he is the owner of the restaurant and then proceeded to offer me a place to stay in town if I needed one. Ha.. it would be nice to stay in Jos instead of Langtang south o but... I thanked him and told him my PPA was far from Jos so it might not be possible for me to go there from Jos. I think the man sensed that I declined because I thought it was a bad idea and not necessarily because of the distance between Jos and my PPA; he said I should still consider it and that I could try to get another PPA around Jos or something. I don’t think I even had any PPA yet sef, I was just scared; before they will go and use someone to do money ritual (my head is strong sha so ori mi o le gba bode in Jesus Name). I sha thanked him again and respectfully declined and said goodbye. By this time, others were waiting for me so I couldn’t really continue the conversation. 

When we got back to the park, I told Chidinma about the free accommodation offer. She was the closest to me there, we were both posted to Langtang South and we were planning to get a room together. Although I planned to strike a deal with my Al or ZI so I could go back home while they take my alawee, I wasn’t completely sure how the deal would go. I asked Chidinma if we could go together to check the place the man was offering to at least see if was a safe option. There was no way we could really be sure of the man’s intentions or our safety but I felt if we wouldn’t be sharing the same space with him and his family; if it was like a boys quarter or a separate apartment and if he agreed that my friend could stay with me, then I would consider the offer. 

Chidinma was five years older than me and she liked to act the role of my big sister so i felt it would be safer to stay with her at the place the man was offering rather than stay alone. I was really hoping she would agree because I mean, we would be in Jos, we would save rent money and we could get better PPAs. Chidinma said No, the man was a stranger and that was that. She had a valid point. If I was to solely take the decision by myself too, it most likely would have been a No as well, I was probably just looking for someone to fan my hope abi how do they say it. The man seemed like a good-natured person who genuinely just offered to make my life a bit easier during NYSC, but there was no way I was going to consider staying at his place alone, vacant or not (May we not enter one chance in Jesus Name).

LANGTANG SOUTH:

When we first got to Langtang South, myself and a few other otondos would do everything, including bathing, with pure water. The set before us used to laugh at us and say we would soon get tired. They eventually taught us the trick; you fetch the dam water (pay malams to fetch it actually because the place was far), baptize the water with alums, after the dirt settles, transfer the “clean” water to another bucket and throw away the dirt, then pour in water sanitizer/purifier to further cleanse the water.

We were there for one or two weeks after the initial posting and then most people left to go home before coming back to resume fully. When I was “resuming fully”, my major aim was to go there and make a deal with the Area or Zonal Inspector so I would return home and they would be taking my “alawe”(monthly allowance). That took longer than I expected because the Zonal inspector I was supposed to see didn’t come to town often and he needed to sign some agreements or something in order for me to leave Langtang South. I didn’t go back fully prepared to stay because I thought I would be back home soonest. Most of the time, I would wake up in the morning, realize I was still in Langtang South and I had not been transported back home miraculously while sleeping, and I would burst into tears. I would just sit on my mattress and ask God why I was still here and cried till I was tired. Eventually I was able to get the deal signed and I returned home. After some months, I was called that the Zonal Inspector was being transferred and all coppers needed to be present before the new person resumed, so I had to go back. At that time I had only about 3-5 months left and we were told the initial arrangement may take a while, that’s if at all it would continue because we heard the new Z.I was very strict. The copper president in our local government then (can’t remember exactly what they were called) advised me to just stay and complete the few months. 

It was around the time I went back that Batch C resumed. Out of empathy and because I was practically new myself, (even though I was quite friendly with most of the coppers in my batch because most of them treated me like the “last born”), I think connected with the Batch C corpers more. AY was cool, and he carried himself in a certain admirable manner. He would volunteer to lead activities here and there, so generally, people liked him. Somehow, both of us became close instantly. We had a long chat I think the first day they got to Langtang; we just started to gist, and before we knew it, it was evening. It was such a breath of fresh air for me to find someone I could really talk to in langtang. As time went on, we became closer…

So I have two major regrets from NYSC year. First, I could have taken the man’s offer for free accommodation, gotten a better PPA and my NYSC year could have been completely different from what it was. Maybe I would have gotten a job and stayed behind in Jos even after NYSC. For some reason, I still like Plateau State; but when I was using my mouth to call Plateau for my NYSC, I didn’t specify so the universe choose Langtang South for me. The man’s offer was supposed to be like a second chance, but I couldn’t take it because of fear. Abeg na naija we dey, ritual na your mate? Had to also think of my safety. Secondly, the way I handled my friendship with AY. Those were the two things that could have been my major positives from my NYSC year, but “Idiswhadidis”.

I had quite a number of toasters that year sha, and it was strange to me because even though I’ve never really considered myself attractive, I "hated" myself even more that year. I thought I looked horrible, so I didn’t get why I had so many toasters. And I didn’t date any of them 🤦🏽‍♀️

I consider my NYSC year to be one of the worst years of my life, and I’ve had some pretty rough ones. So yeah I’d vote SCRAP NYSC anyday, it’s a no for me.

You yourself you can see how long and boring this story is right? “It didn’t worth it”.